The Melancholy of Deokman

by: Thisknee

I fell anxious, daunted and sad.
Am I going to cry again?
My legs would become weak.
My face would turn red.
My heart starts throbbing.
I would then clench my teeth when tears begin to flow.
Any way I look at things,
I just keep thinking about having to disappear in the end.
I don’t know anymore.
I haven’t really given a thought about giving up on anything.
But I really want to succumb to something.
Nobody’s left to protect me now.
All by myself, I must protect this country, my people and the ones I cherish.
Nobody will be able to fight or suffer on my behalf.
I can neither trust nor mistrust anyone.
Must I really do that without relying upon anyone?
Must I really walk this path all by myself?
Will I able to?
Can I vanquish solitude without fear?
The path ahead of me would be arduous.
And it would be painful.
I would lose my loved ones and experience utmost loneliness.
It will be more barren and dim than in the desert.
For it will seem like I have the world.
But in truth I will not be able to gain anything.
But still, I must endure it.
Endure it to the end.